Xbox 360 Rant

Ah, Xbox 360.

You brought me Halo, Mass Effect, Oblivion and hours of mindless entertainment on Xbox Live. And while that is all well and good, you have also brought me hours of mind-numbing, nut punching frustration at the hands of Xbox Customer Service. Each call is a different path down the rabbit hole of miscommunication, unintelligible accents, holding and Reference numbers. Even doing something simple can become a herculean task to complete only to find yourself back where you started when you hang up. And as for the Reference numbers, why give it to me at all if I need to explain everything in detail EACH time I call?

So, my Xbox 360 decided to red ring about an hour ago. I was minding my own business failing miserable at being a competent shot in Max Payne 3 when it just decided that enough was enough. Now, the sad fact is that this is nothing new to me, I have dealt with the situation before and I know the routine. Throw controller down in a fit or rage, sit for 5 mins to stare at the blinking lights, curse Microsoft and maybe Bill Gates personally before grabbing the phone to dial up Xbox "Customer Service" to set up a repair. So, that's what I did. Some of the folks on here know I had issues with my Xbox not able to play newer games and had to break down and have it repaired. I had loaned out my PS3 to a friend so I could borrow his Xbox to play ME3 MP with all the fine people here on HTL. I just got my Xbox back, this Xbox, the one that red ringed just a short time ago, only two weeks ago.

Two weeks. This is by far the shortest amount of time between Xbox hardware failures. I expected it to go down again eventually, but not so soon after it's last trip back to the mothership to be fixed. This will now be the 3rd time this specific Xbox has gone in for repair. The Arcade unit I had since launch which I sold recently, had 3 trips itself. I'm now on my 6th round of waiting for a working system to be back in my hands. Each time takes roughly a month so that's 6 months of gaming on the Xbox, 6 months of Live on the Xbox and 6 long, annoying, frustrating calls to Xbox Live to set up repair. If it wasn't for the fact that it is by far the more popular console, I would have told Xbox to fuck itself and lit it on fire by now.

Now, I know there are people that have the same console they bought back when it launched and it works perfectly. Well, good for you. That's great, it really is. You got the Xbox experience everyone should get, and that is one that doesn't require frequent calls to Xbox "Customer Service" and want to punch a puppy after hanging up. Others have told me to just go buy a Slim. This one is worse because you are asking me to go purchase another version of the same fucking thing that started all this bullpoopy in the first place. Maybe the Slim is well built and rarely fails, that is awesome. I'm just not that jazzed to drop another $200 bucks on a system that has done a damn good job convincing me I made a mistake purchasing it in the first place.

Remember the Super Nintendo? It was really big back in the 90's. Was sorta a big deal. You could punt that fucking system 20 yards and it would still work. I used to cram that grey box of happiness into my backpack and drag it with me to from one friends house to the next. Games, controllers, cables and the system itself all writhing around in a hot steamy tech orgy, bouncing around as I pedaled my lil ass all round town. It's been dropped, thrown (on accident), kicked and smacked. I still have it. It still works. I punished that fucking system and when I turn it on, it does it's job, it plays video games. As does the NES, Genesis, original GameBoy, Gamecube and my PS1. All of these ghosts of gaming past still work to this day.

So what the fuck Xbox? Why you fail me like no other console has failed me before? My PS3 is a fatty 60GB that was purchased not long after launch. It still works. All the shit Sony has done or will do, I can say they made a system that fucking works. I feel like an abused spouse that keeps coming back for more punishment. Only now I got to pay $100 for the repairs because it's out of warranty. (Though, since it has only been in my possession for 2 weeks since it's last vacation, they waived it this time. At least I think that is what they said. It could have been so many other things.)

So, this is my first blog post. Maybe the last too. I was just pissed off and needed to let it all out before I took a blowtorch to the white box of failure over there. My buddy is coming back by to loan me his Xbox again. And my stalwart PS3 will be the ransom, again. I feel the PS3 thinks I am punishing it for something, but I pet it and tell it that is not the case. Anyway... that is all. AMERICA!