Surviving Mindoir

I am Commander Ariana Shepard. People look to me as the hero who will save the galaxy: a paragon of humanity and a beacon of hope. I've defied impossible odds, survived suicidal missions, forged unprecedented alliances. I've thrown myself into my role as a leader during this time of overwhelming crisis and accomplished feats beyond my wildest dreams. I have become more than a mere human in the eyes of the galaxy. But deep down, a part of me will always be a vulnerable sixteen year old girl, watching in silent terror as everything I love is ripped savagely to pieces.

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The day dawns bright and clear, the slight chill in the air signaling the arrival of harvest time. School has been dismissed for the next couple weeks to allow the students from farming families (virtually all of them) to help with the critical work of bringing in crops and preparing livestock and buildings for the onset of winter.

That's what we do here on Mindoir; the lush garden world is perfectly suited for agriculture. Golden fields of grain stretch for miles, punctuated with forests full of game and lakes and rivers brimming with fish. The planet is situated at a perfect distance from its twin suns, and the pristine atmosphere is rich with oxygen. The world we occupy is more than just alive; animals and plants seem almost to glow with health and vitality in an ecosystem at the height of its glory.

Of course, the same lush conditions that have created such verdure make the planet perfect for large predators as well. The colony and the surrounding fields are surrounded by a high electric fence designed to keep the beasts roaming the forest away from livestock and settlers. In the twenty years since the colony was founded, we've been perfectly safe from the planet's more hostile elements. Isolated, but safe.

This year's crop is one of the best and largest yet, and bringing it in promises to be a particularly long and boring task. I wake with the sun, as always, throw on some ugly work clothes, and rush down the stairs to get breakfast ready for the younger children. Dad has been up for hours already prepping the harvester. Mom walked away from the family to return to Earth almost four years ago, leaving me to do the child rearing and mundane housework she was never really suited for. I love every minute of it.

As the bacon begins to sizzle, filling the house with its tantalizing aroma, little disheveled heads start peeking in through the kitchen door. Besides me, there's Matt, a gawky, quiet boy of fourteen, Kitty, gorgeous and universally admired at the tender age of eleven, Molly, a nine year old on a mission to break as many bones as possible with her reckless stunts, and Mal, our much-coddled baby brother who just turned five. After helping Mal put his shirt on right-side-out and savagely dragging a brush through Molly's mop of frazzled hair, we sit down to our standard breakfast of bacon and eggs. This is my element: smiling serenely at the sense of happy, barely-controlled chaos that reigns in our house, and trying not to snort with laughter at the antics of the younger kids.

Half an hour later, having narrowly averted a full blown food fight, hastily taken care of the dishes, and herded everyone to their allotted chores, I hurry off toward the woods for a few precious hours of solitude. Even during harvest, Dad insists I take some time each day to study and unwind. I'm in my last year at the local high school, and I've already earned a scholarship to study galactic literature and culture at an academy on the Citadel. I still haven't figured out quite how to tell my Dad I can't possibly accept it and leave the family behind, but that's a problem for another day.

For now, I stride contentedly toward the Fence and the forest beyond, a datapad on Asari music in my back pocket and my brand new rifle slung over my shoulder. The rifle was a birthday present from Cam, my best friend, who apparently has a thing for awkward-looking redheads who can spout Salarian poetry and hit a bird from 800 meters away. What exactly it is he sees in me I'll never know, but thinking about being with him makes me happy enough to not examine the situation too closely. I'm gawkily proportioned, perpetually sunburned, and my livid red hair won't ever do what I want it to, but Cam doesn't seem to mind. I can only assume he's a little crazy and be grateful for the fact that he overlooks my appearance and the laundry list of flaws and quirks I seem to be made of.

I quickly reach the section of the Fence I'm headed toward and lug away the block of cement covering the narrow gap that leads, if you're careful and don't mind getting dirty, safely to the other side. I found it when I was younger, and instead of locking me in the house for forever like he should have, Dad taught me how to shoot a rifle and keep myself safe from predators. The woods have been my sanctuary ever since, giving me some much-needed space to breathe and study without four younger siblings clamoring for my attention.
The forest is stunning at this time of year. The leaves are just beginning to change colors, autumn flowers of purple and gold carpet the ground, and the sounds of little animals scurrying to collect the trees' plentiful fruits and nuts form a sort of music. Once the fence is out of sight, the only thing to betray the close proximity of civilization is the sound of a shuttle zooming toward the settlement.

The shuttle strikes me as a bit odd. We're an isolated colony by choice, and the trade ships that bring in supplies and ferry our grain and livestock offworld aren't due for another couple weeks. Still, it isn't unheard of for someone to land out of season, and I have better things to occupy my attention at the moment. I beat a meandering path to my favorite tree and settle in against the sun-warmed bark to study my data pad.

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I don't remember falling asleep, but I must have. I awake to the alarming smell of smoke. I quickly scramble to my feet and run back toward the Fence, wondering if it's a house or a barn that's caught fire; the closer I get, the more obvious it is that the burning is on a much larger scale. Animals of all description are fleeing in the opposite direction, and the air quickly becomes thick with the black, acrid smoke rising from the settlement. I ignore it; I have to see what's going on, and to do what I can to keep the kids from panicking. Surely they're ok. They know to keep their heads down and run for the hole in the fence in a situation like this. And Dad won't let anything bad happen to them. I just need to get to the fence and help them all through.

I'm close enough now to hear the crackle of burning wood, and, more alarmingly, the screams of both humans and animals. It isn't until I hear a gunshot that I begin to truly panic. I reach the edge of the colony. A face looms through the smoke; not a human face, a Batarian. He hasn't seen me, but I know he will if I try and get back inside. I watch, stunned by the satisfied expression on his face as he casually guns down a group of men trying to break a path to the now-inert fence keeping everyone penned in. They never stood a chance. The Batarian in front of me is clearly a cold-blooded killer, enjoying the scene unfolding around him, and judging by the continual sound of gunfire coming from further in, he's far from alone. No one here is prepared to handle a threat like this. They're all as good as dead.

Trembling with fear and rage, I reach for the rifle on my back. I need to make the bastard in front of me pay. I need to get to my family. I need to find Cam. I need to save them; I need......I can't. I lower my arm, brought to a dead stop by the realization that there isn't a damned thing I can do here. If I shoot the Batarian in front of me, if I crawl through that fence, I will be just as dead as the rest of the colony. The shock, the numbing sense of horror and despair, almost keeps me glued in place, waiting to join the rest of the world I know and love as it dissolves into blood and ash.

But I'm stronger than that. I have to live. Somehow, I need to survive and make things right. Half blind from the smoke and silent tears clouding my eyes, I run for my life.

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I am Commander Shepard. I make impossible decisions for the good of the galaxy. I right wrongs; I bring ruthless justice to those who prey on the innocent. I will bring the Reapers to their knees and end this war, even if it kills me. I do it all out of love. For Dad; for Matt, Kitty, Molly, and Mal. For Cam. And for that helpless, terrified child living inside me, baffled and dismayed at her first glimpse of cruelty and darkness.